Dating when you have children can be complicated. When is it time to let the children meet a new love? And how much should they get involved in? Keep the children completely outside until the relationship is serious, the expert advises.
Dating from the perspective of a single parent
Many people find it complicated to date when there are children to consider. Above all, the question when it is right to present the children to someone new can be difficult. If you are a single dad (we’ll focus on sexy single mommas out there in our next article, but this one holds true for the ladies as well, of course) in your head, your thoughts swirl around what is best for your children and in the stomach there is the fear that it will not work.
But being a single parent in the day and age of online dating is easy as a pie. Single parents dating sites is an excellent little niche for single parents who want the opportunity to meet the like-minded. With thousands of new members who daily surf the sites like EliteSingles, DateMyAge, NextLove, and Be2 and actively click through profiles, it is relatively easy to find someone who wants to date seriously. However, there are still things to consider about how to play it out wisely with your little ones. When is the right time to introduce someone new in your life to them? And how to tell your new date you are a single dad?
Directly telling your date that you have children is a matter of course for many – like talking a lot about your kid right from the start to know how the person you date reacts. But it should take some time for someone to meet your kids.
From the perspective of your date, if she does not have her own children, the step of dating someone with children can be frightening. But it certainly does not have to be your disadvantage! You can even make her see this as an advantage if you only get her to look at the situation through a different prism. Here are 5 strong reasons to date a single dad:
- He knows that life is not always like in the movies. Someone with children knows what the word “every day means and stands firmly with their both feet on the ground.
- The obvious. He likes children and is hopefully a good and loving parent.
- He does not have time to play around but knows what he wants. In other words, the greater the chance of a serious relationship!
- He has probably matured and developed as a person since becoming a parent. Most with children testify that they have become less selfish and more humble.
- The chances are big that you, in the long run, will fall for the little extra person…
Consider your children’s perspective
It is difficult for children to meet new people that they may be affiliated with and who are then gone. Dating when you have children can be complicated. When is it time to let the children meet a new love? And how much should they get involved in? Keep the children completely outside until the relationship is serious, the experts advise.
Think that children develop an attachment to people in their life relatively easily. And if a new lovely lady walks through your door and shares her affection with your children to then just take it away and disappear if things go wrong, they could be traumatized by the experience.
It is difficult for children to meet new people who they may be attached to and who are then gone, explain experts. In the worst case, it can cause the child to stop tying because there is no longer any reason to do so. She or he learns that it is safest not to approach and enjoy someone’s company.
She adds that sometimes you need to be even more careful. After a divorce gone bad, it can be incredibly difficult for a child to meet mum’s or dad’s, new partners. As for bringing the children on board with making a decision about a new partner, it is completely wrong. It’s a far too big responsibility for a child. It is not at all good and can lead to problems with being able to set adequate boundaries later in life.
When deciding to invest in a relationship, it is important to consider that the child needs emotional support through the process. Listen and learn to read your child’s reactions. Ask open questions and accept any protests. It is important to show that you support the child in his or her feelings, whether they are positive or negative.
Specialists in child psychology also think that one should prepare both himself and the new partner that it will go up and down. There are many who would like to show that the children are so perfect and kind and will not be a sort of trouble. The risk is that the parent forgets the child’s perspective, which leads to the child’s possible negative reactions being swept under the carpet. It will be unsustainable in the long run. If you let the process go instead, it can be really good in the end.
Dating sites for single parents
The best online dating single parents can go for is arguably EliteSingles. It is the dating site that is aimed at well-educated singles who are over 30 years old. The purpose of the dating site is to create a serious meeting place where singles who have high ambitions can date both privately and professionally. The starting point is thus that “like children play best”, at least in terms of ambition level. Furthermore, it is a dating site for singles seeking serious relationships. Of the 18,000 members of the dating site, more than two-thirds are graduates. 43% are men and 57% are women. Although many of the members are academics, it is not a requirement. Everyone is welcome, academics or not.
Anyone who joins EliteSingles needs to go through a personality test with over 100 questions. In other words, a rather comprehensive personality test. Just like DateMyAge, Elitsingles also uses five-factor theory in his matching technique. The theory is based on five personality traits. All people have these personality traits, but each character trait takes a different place in the individual. Based on how one’s own composition looks, one fits in well with some and worse with others. The character traits included in a five-factor theory are neuroticism, extraversion, openness, kindness/sympathy, and conscientiousness.