Being an introvert, you will face a number of challenges that will make your dating life seem more complicated than it needs to be. Let us address some sore points regularly brought up by introverted singles out there who find it problematic to capture and maintain the interest of attractive matches on the best dating sites that are out there.
Introverts And The Dating Game
The brain of introverted people works in a different way. For this reason, their emotional relationships are usually more delicate: they are made of fewer words but contain “I love you” much more sincere and profound. They are subjects that have the ability to create a much more intense, almost magical connection with the loved one. Fortunately, today we are able to understand introverted people much better. Thanks to the large amount and variety of studies and books published on the subject, such as Susan Cain’s The Power of Introverts, today we know many important aspects of introversion, for example, its diversity with respect to shyness. Introverts are selective, observers, sensitive and even good leaders in a work environment.
As for love, it often happens that introverted people have to deal with some difficulties. During adolescence or youth, they may think they cannot stand comparison with the contagious cheerfulness and joy of extroverted people. For a certain period of time, they take refuge in the silent corners and in the last ranks of the class, from which they observe the world with calm and discretion. The introverted teenager usually loves secretly. He does not have the courage to take the first step in a context that seems to be done only for daring people, for lovers of mass events and large groups of friends in which everyone speaks and no one listens. But even if it happens little by little, the introvert also “wakes up” and realizes all his qualities. One of the trends that are starting to make their way nowadays is that of the “Quiet Revolution”. This approach has several purposes. First of all, he wants to destroy the false stereotypes: introversion and extroversion are not closed categories. They are two extremes of a continuum, and each person can present different degrees of one or the other. Introverted people do not hate socializing. And there is no shortage of social skills, far from it. These are people who have achieved their freedom. In an overactive society that forces us to be always attentive to what is happening around us, because of the avalanche of information from which we are submerged, the introvert has found refuge in himself. This allows him to be more creative, sensitive, original and analytical, as well as being able to better manage emotions.
Another myth that we should overcome is that the introverts are good in pairs only with those who have a personality similar to theirs. Not so: introverts and extroverts can have wonderful relationships, which help them to enrich each other.
Here are the traits that usually characterize them:
- Introverted people love to share moments in solitude with their partner. They concentrate all their attention and energy on that person. They are also fantastic architects when it comes to connecting the deepest emotions and can build a solid foundation for a true and stable commitment.
- On the other hand, and this is an important detail, introverted people can give space to the person they love. They do it because they themselves need moments of solitude to reflect on what they have around and enjoy the time they cut out for themselves.
How To Meet And Win A Girl: Introvert’s Guide
Sometimes you do not need to go to parties to find a partner. People of this type know in which context to move and how to create links with others. They know how to seduce thanks to short distances, face-to-face conversations, moments of simple and magical complicity. At this stage, all the problems that we typically have with women emerge such as:
- Attachment to the result
- Fear of ending
- Fear of showing interest, especially the sexual one
- Resentment towards women
- Fear of not “being worthy enough of her interest”
- Insecurity in general
- Fear of being insane
This is why you should take advantage of your mobile phone to shed light on your limits and become aware of yourself. How to proceed then? Most of the problems that come out are that it gives too much importance to the girl and too little to her life. In practice, therefore, not always be ready as a dog to answer them, make sure you live your life, live like a real man, this is very useful not only to make you desirable and please the girl you want to seduce but also for yourself, to be centered, focused on yourself.
Introverts benefit in a major way from best online dating sites: without the need to go out there and invent conversation topics on the spot, they get a lot of room for thinking about what to say next chatting on dating apps. It is a pain-free and foolproof way of getting to know a woman rather well before actually meeting her IRL, and when you two finally go out on a date, it will feel like you’ve known her for a while – this will take a lot of unnecessary anxiety out of the equation. To find a better match still, we suggest you join one of the best dating sites such as Match, eHarmony, EliteSingles, eDarling and others with professionally developed personality tests.
Here is a practical guide on how to appear engaged, cool, intriguingly aloof and desirable when you are an introvert:
- Embrace anxiety. If you are introverted, the first appointment will first give you a load of anxiety of all respect: know that it is normal for the extroverts. So accept it, embrace it and go to meet your destiny. If you already expect a couple of embarrassed silences and some unhappy default joke, everything will be simpler: you’re not perfect, neither is it, neither will it be. Hooray!
- Choose a type of appointment that will help you become talkative. Maybe not to the pubs with live music, discos or concerts too noisy, but no to places too quiet, where the embarrassment could cut it with a knife. Instead, yes to activities that may please both and on which you can immediately start a good conversation: a theater show, a cinema, a reading.
- Wear something comfortable that makes you feel at ease. Of course, do not go out in your training clothes, but choose something that will help you not feel too self-conscious.
- Plan for common conversation topics. Maybe you will not need them, but having them in your pocket for any eventuality will make you feel more comfortable. If she is friends of your friends, it will not be difficult for you to know what he likes; and if you met her with one of the best dating sites for relationships, you just need to rummage through his photos to find some common interest (maybe the goal of a trip already made?) on which to chat.
- Pay attention to closed-ending questions. “Do you have brothers or sisters?”, “Where were you born?”, Are examples of questions to which you can give a dry answer, without further explanation. And the convo is likely to die there. Instead, think of open questions, which presuppose an expansion after the yes/no. The embarrassment of forced silence will thus be averted.
- Think of an escape plan. Also this, as in point 4, maybe you will not need it, but knowing that you have it will help you to stay calmer. In case he was too boring or you felt too much, too embarrassed.
- Get feedback from your friends. Especially if a date was a disaster. You may find that the problem is just being introverted and maybe it is worthwhile working on it a bit.
- Try to understand if you suffer from social anxiety. Being introverted is a side of the character, but if the idea of talking to someone you do not know, even if you like it or even if you have lots of things in common, it scares you to death, then you may be affected by social anxiety; you should talk to someone who can help you out.
- Search for an extrovert person. It will counterbalance you and help you get out of your shell.
- Find compromises. Is your comfort zone introvert untouchable? Maybe you should revisit the question a little, because of compromises on how and how much out among people, especially if you follow point 9, are a must!